A Weekend Adventure with Mexico...

Thanks to my amazing friend Mykensie, I was able to spend a handful of days in April with her and another dear friend of mine, Marty, in Mexico City. The trip was wonderful and filled with great laughter and lots of adventures. We were only there for three days, but it felt like much longer, which was nice and restorative.

Kensie lives in Houston. We went to high school together, and met through Lindsey. She moved to Houston several months ago, and we wanted to find a way to get together. She was in search of mountains. We met at the Mexico City airport, where we were both somewhat panicked because we couldn't find each other. Mexico City’s airport apparently has two different international terminals, and we flew into different ones. Fortunately Kensie figured it out and took a twenty minute train between the two of them and found me. We then grabbed a taxi and headed towards the city center, to Marty’s house. Marty is a friend of mine from college. We became friends over hours and hours spent in mini vans rocking out to music, while providing safe rides as an alternative to walking at night. She's lived in Mexico for five years now, and is fluent in Spanish. She and her partner, Josefina, were both incredible guides for us.

Marty and Josefina live in a lovely third floor apartment with a deck or veranda over an internal courtyard. They often rent their spare room as an air b’n’b rental. It was a wonderful set up, and they were such great hosts. Marty made us dinner when we got in, and it was the first time both Kensie and I had ever had cactus. The tacos she made were delicious. The next day Kensie and I went to the Frida Kahlo museum, navigating public transit with the guidance of Marty. The museum is really popular and we had to wait for an hour and a half to get in., to which I discussed, of course, the political state of the world, and the US's impact on international communities.  It was a lovely house though, painted a bright blue color and built around an internal courtyard filled with flowers. It was really amazing to see some of her drawings, doodles, and writings that were never published, and were found in the house years after she passed away. It was also really cool to learn more about one of the most famous Mexican women, her lasting impact on the history and narrative of Mexico in particular.

After our museum tour we met back up with Marty and Josefina. They invited us to go to the south part of Mexico City with them to celebrate a friend of theirs who is moving. We had our celebration on a flat-bottomed boat in the canals propelled by a man with a long pole that looked like a thick bamboo stalk. He pushed us through the canal for two hours, trying to avoid all of the other boats, which we did crash into every now and then. There were so many and the canals aren't that big. All the boats were really colorful and lots of people had brought stereos out to play music. There were also a few bands that would come up to boats and play banda or mariachi music. It was a really fun adventure, and didn't end on the boats. 

If you don't know much about Mexico City, it’s huge; one of the largest cities in the world. There are over 23 million people living in the metropolitan area of Mexico City, but it is also really spread out. We were staying in the center of the city, and it took us 1.5 hours to get back from the boats; 45 minutes in a car and another 45 on the subway. While out on the boats, they stop at this spot so folks can use the rest room and buy whatever. They also sell a ton of plants, and Marty and Josefina picked out this very large, very beautiful bougainvillea bush. They were going on to an after-celebration celebration, so we offered to help them get this bush home. We squeezed it into the uber car with us, and it was sitting on our laps. Then we carried it on the subway. Lots of people complimented us on the bush, and many asked how much it cost… which was only 40 pesos, or about two dollars. It was an adventure and definitely a good story. We wandered around the neighborhood that night for some food and settled on a little quesadilla spot. It was really just a woman cooking quesadillas in a stairwell, but they were delicious, albeit really spicy! My mouth was burning for quite a bit after. Once filled up on quesadillas, we crashed in anticipation for our second full day in Mexico City. 

This second day was spent traveling to Teotihuacan, an ancient city located outside of Mexico City proper. It was one of the most massive of it's kind, built by hand more than 1,000 years before the Aztec arrived, giving it the name Teotihuacan. The city covered eight square miles and supported a population of around 100,000. It also has some of the largest pyramids in the world, comparable to those found in Egypt, and was once the largest city in the Western Hemisphere. There is an amalgamation of cultures represented in the construction of the pyramids that were built between 100 B.C. and 650 A.D. There is still so much unknown about these pyramids, but they were incredible. We entered the city from the west crossing the Avenue of the Dead into the citadel, to the Temple of the Feathered Serpent. In the distance at the other end of the Avenue of the Dead, all the way to the north, we could see the Pyramid of the Moon, and before it the Pyramid of the Sun. It was an incredible site, that inspired so much curiosity. It was also a really hot and sunny day - so we had to drink a ton of water, and ultimately resulted in a sped-up conclusion after hours of exploring. 

There were so many smaller temples where offerings were made along the journey to the Pyramids. We climbed a ton of them, but concluded not to enter into the Palace of Quetzalpapaotl that had had it's interior restored, as there was a really long line, and at that point, we hadn't made it up the big pyramids yet. We spent hours upon hours going up and down steps, before we even went up the stairs at the Temple of the Moon, then we still had to go up the Temple of the Sun - which is the one you can go all the way to the top on. It was incredible, and brings me so much awe as I think back to the memory of the the place. How incredible would it be to be able to glimpse back in time to this place when it was at it's peak, to discover answers to all of our unanswered questions, to know the memories that a place holds. The only other place I remember being in my travels that has structures constructed in B.C. was when I was in Athens. It draws some interesting parallels. 

After grabbing some food and even more water, we went to wait for the bus. Several busses went by us completely packed, and they had to send an empty bus specifically for our group waiting at our entrance. Unfortunately I desperately had to go to the bathroom, so that made the bus ride back really interesting. We then had to hop back on the subway back to Marty's place. That night we had a delicious dinner near Marty's house, then went to bed early. We were both pretty tired after all of the sun and walking that day. We didn't get to go on our mountain hike, but we went up so many pyramids this day that it felt like we were hiking, so that was nice. 

The next day, our last together in Mexico City was spent just exploring a neighborhood in Mexico City. It was one of the wealthier neighborhoods, and after wandering around for a bit, we found a cute bench in a park and sat and talked for a little while. It was a lovely afternoon, even when the clouds kept blackening, and thunder started rumbling a bit, then the downpour hit. We thought we'd wait it out on our covered bench for a little bit, but once it started raining so hard we were getting wet anyways, we made a run for it. We made it to a nice restaurant and enjoyed some more delicious food, some coffee and wine, and company of course. Then we traveled back to Marty's during rush hour on the subway. So far, we'd only experienced weekend subway usage, which was like packed US subway usage.  Rush hour subway in Mexico City was SO packed. It was impressive actually. Fortunately we didn't need to go very far. Marty was telling us, the subway moves around 6 million people every day through it. It is one of the most used subway systems in the entire world. And it is still relatively really affordable, unlike some other subway systems, or public transit systems throughout the world. It was cool to experience - and honestly felt much more effective than driving. 

After some more quesadillas that night, we visited a bit, then went to bed, to wake up and catch our flights in the morning. In hindsight, although a short trip, I feel I have so much to reflect on. One piece that was a huge struggle for me was Spanish. After studying Spanish for six years, I can definitely understand quite a bit of it, enough of it at least. But whenever I try to speak Spanish, the only words that come to mind are Kinyarwanda. So it was a really interesting and frustrating experience to understand what is being said to me, but absolutely cannot communicate back. It was so weird, and felt debilitating. I compensated for this by just randomly chiming in with a Spanish word here or there, which was probably more annoying to everyone than helpful. It's been interesting to reflect on this experience of being incapable of communicating, especially since so much of what I do, who I am, and what I enjoy rests in communication, It was also interesting being on an incredible trip with one of my favorite people in the world, and honestly not being able to let go get out of the mindset of my fast paced American life, and the stresses of what I knew I had to tackle when I got home. This unfortunately contributed to the fact that we didn't do Mykensie's other one wish other than to find mountains, but to dance. 

She has so much life in her, and so much vitality. Since I've known her, I've seen that she is a person that has brought out the beauty in the world just by her existence, and I don't mean that metaphorically. Her smile, her laughter, her intentional thoughtfulness and processing literally lights up every place and space that she exists within. It's incredible, and I feel so honored to know her, and be her friend. She is one of the most beautiful and incredible people I've ever met. I owe her some dancing though. It was also incredible for me to get to see Marty. Similarly, Marty is one of the most passionate and intelligent people I know. She has been such an educator to me since we've met, and an inspiration to me. She is dedicated and loyal and animated and insightful. I learn something from her every time I am with her. She is the type of person that sparks great change and reminds you that that flame is still burning, always. So I take great inspiration and enlightenment from both of these people. They have both played huge roles in my life, in my narrative, and in my directions. I feel incredibly lucky to know them both. This was the highest point of the trip for me, getting to see and hang out with these two people, and together in a place and space that brought out love and happiness in both of them. It was truly incredible, and I'm just lucky.  

My flight back was uneventful, albeit my sim card on my phone broke, so I was down a phone for about a week, which was fine. Kensie had a little more of an adventurous, albeit shorter trip to Houston, and was happy to find that her neither her car parked at the airport, or her house had gotten caught up in the Houston flooding. I can't thank her enough for making this trip possible, and Marty and Josefina for opening up their home for us, even though they flew out the same day we did to come home, headed for South Africa for a conference. It was an incredible trip. Thank you.

A New Kind of Adventure

It’s 2016, and officially ten years since I graduated from high school. In all honesty it feels like it’s been a whole lot longer, just thinking about the things I’ve done in the last ten years, as well as the ways life and my family has changed. For example, my brother is married with two kids now!!! In the last ten years, Ryan finished his service in the Navy, moved around Oregon, met Kaleigh, had Gracie, got married, finished school, got a job with the Forest Service, and had a son, then moved back to northeastern Oregon! I’m sure many people who read this are like, ‘yeah, that’s the kind of stuff that happens in ten years.’ But, life has changed so much, in great ways.

I feel like my current adventure is really nice, fitted somewhere between being a responsible adult, and still having some leeway to be a bit reckless every now and then! Most of you know that I’ve been dating Greg for two years now, and we’re house hunting, if you can call the lack of finding anything for several months, house hunting. He came with two cats, so now I have cats. I don’t think I’ve ‘become a ‘cat person’ but I also don’t think I’ve ever been a ‘pet person.’ I like adventuring too much to have ever wanted to get pets, but now I have them, and they’re pretty cute. I also have a really awesome job, and I think this is the place I’ve most grown since returning from Rwanda.

I work in sexual violence prevention. For my first two years back from Rwanda I worked as a violence prevention educator in middle and high schools in Oregon. It was a really rewarding experience, and one that I had set a time limit on. Fortunately, my current job became available, and after much eye-rolling by my dad when I said I didn’t think I was qualified, followed by lots of ‘I think you’re more than qualified’ by my mom, I applied and much to my surprise they offered me the job. So now I commute the 40 minutes to Salem most days, and get to focus my energy on coordinating, supporting, and organizing prevention efforts around the state.

After a few weeks or months in this job I remember saying to my dad that I didn’t expect my life to lead me here, that I didn’t foresee this being a career goal for me, and he just kind of laughed. Turns out, when I really thought about it, much, if not most of my time the last ten years has been focused in some capacity on violence prevention. The last three years in particular, since I’ve been back, I’ve learned a lot about sexual violence and healthy relationships. I’ve learned how to talk about something, and be called-out and learn to talk about it in a whole new, better way. I’ve learned how violence prevention is never risk-reduction. I’ve learned about gender stereotypes, health promotion, and oppression. And this last one in particular is the place that I’ve learned the most.

I’ve learned a lot about how oppression works, and how it impacts our world on a systemic and systematic level. I’ve learned a lot about historical trauma, and the continued generational impact of targeted violence, acts of genocide, acts of persecution, acts of racism, sexism, classism, ableism, heterosexism, etc. I’ve learned about oppression and I’ve learned a lot about privilege. When I started learning about these systems of oppression as they still work in our society, things started clicking into place in my mind and in my understanding. On the phone with my mom one day, I said, ‘it’s like now that I’ve seen these things, I can’t unsee them.’ She has been such a useful sounding board for me in dissecting violence. 

Oppression is the root cause of violence – when we are taught, formally or more commonly informally, to value some people less than others. This is often based on things like class, race, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation, gender, age, and religion, among others.  And I began to see the different ways that we accept oppression and the different ways each of us reinforce oppression. It is so pervasive. I’ve always felt pretty attuned to sexism, and always been –true to myself – indignant by the injustices I perceived as a woman. Professionally, and personally as a woman, I am constantly confronted with the realty that women experience rates of sexual violence at astronomical rates. At this point, at least one out of every three women will experience sexual violence in their lifetime.

That’s insane. And for so long we’ve asked women to change their behavior to reduce the risk of this happening to them. If women could have stopped sexual violence from happening, we would have done it a hell of a long time ago. Much more seldom do we step back and look at what is causing this violence, and a lot of it comes down to what we formally, and more commonly informally, teach people about who they get to be. The stereotypes that exist in our society, like dudes are strong, women are weak. This example in and of itself is so limiting to who we get to be and so messed up how we reinforce it. We say things like ‘man up’ which is supposed to be a good thing, and ‘stop being such a girl’, which is supposed to be a bad thing. We use a series of derogatory words to put down and describe men that aren’t physically strong – most of which have to do with either being gay or being female. We use those same and other derogatory words to put down and describe women that are “too” physically strong.

 No one wins in this model. This model sets us up to already decide that some people are more valuable than others, and it happens so much that we’ve seemingly accepted it as normal, and decided this is who people inherently are. But this model hurts all of us, and doesn’t allow any one the opportunity to step outside of these boxes. This is true for so much more than just gender too. This is especially true currently when we talk about religion. We are in a place where we openly talk about how we value some people less based on their religion and we can actively see the violence that this provokes, including comments, and hate.

So this is one reason that I love my job. I am constantly inspired to try to make the world a better place. I guess my mom read me Miss Rumphius enough times when I was a kid… Anyways, I’ve been in my job almost a year, and every day I come to work, more pieces of this puzzle click into place, and I begin to see a little more of the problem and the solutions to violence in our world. I know this is not going to be easy personally and collectively. I know even people I love and are dear to me will disagree with me. But I know that part of seeing this puzzle come together means holding myself accountable to being better, to being open, to being more patient, to continuing to learn.

So this is my current journey, my current adventure. This is where I’ve learned, changed, grown, and improved over the last three years. I don’t expect to ever be perfect individually, but I expect myself to try every day, to not reinforce violent ideas, to lift up values like equity, to ask myself how I can be better each day, to continue to learn and be open to learning. I can’t unsee it, and honestly I don’t want to. I was raised in a social justice minded household, and I’m continuing to see how that affects all that I do, all that I am, and how our world works.

Becoming....

            I remember sitting in my women’s studies class during the winter term of 2007. It was shortly after the plane crash. I was still living in Linds’ and my apartment, and I was sitting in this boring class with a horrible teacher who later told me she didn’t care if I was going to my best friend’s funeral, I couldn’t miss the midterm exam. I reflect on that class still with hostility, mostly because of that teacher and her terrible existence (as I said, hostility) but it’s also interesting that because of one person I met in that class, I began work at the Assault Prevention Shuttle as a first step towards forcing myself out there, to make a friend at school. She also introduced me to my college boyfriend… Weird all the things that came out of this one place… Anyways, I remember sitting there and writing this list, of things I wanted for my life. I stumbled upon it the other day and thought I should share where I was seven years ago….

      -          I want to make tons of friends, and carry on Lindsey’s laughter.

-          I want to take part in making people’s lives better.

-          I want to travel the world.

-          I want to be liked by everyone, but not anyone.

-          I want to quit caring about the little things and focus/remember the important ones.

-          I want to tell everyone and anyone how absolutely beautiful and wonderful they are.

-          I want to talk, listen, learn, know.

-          I want to be open-minded.

-          I want to love everyone and let them know this.

-          I never want to forget the people in my life.

-          I want to carry Linds and Steph in my heart no matter how hard it is, and let them continue to teach me.

-          I want to go to the middle of nowhere and scream and laugh and cry.

-          I want to experience everything like has to offer, that will make me feel more appreciative.

-          I want to be passionate.

-          I want to be sad, and know that happiness will always come.

-          I want to smile in the rain, and open my arms to the sky.

-          I want to plant trees and build homes.

-          I want to help my brother feel loved and independent.

-          I want to be my own person.

-          I want to splash in puddles, because that’s all that matters in the end.

-          I want to fight what I feel is wrong.

-          I want to promote what I feel is right.

-          I want to grieve and take back what has been lost.

-          I want my heart to break and be rebuilt with a multitude of love in many different colors.

-          I want to be someone’s world.

-          I want to find the end of a rainbow.

-          I want to go for a walk, to stop and take a step into a different perspective.

-          I want to BREATHE.

-          I want to travel the world, live by the sea, and make the world a more beautiful place.

Seven years have gone by since one of the most iconic moments of my story took place. Coming home has been interesting. I’ve had a lot of conversations about Lindsey and what she means to so many different people. It’s been hard and quite frankly, I’ve felt very much like an asshole, because relative to so many people, I have moved forwards. Not that they haven’t, but I’d find myself feeling like I don’t mourn her loss enough relative to others. I’m not focusing on her enough, I’m not putting enough…. something into this. But I know I haven’t forgotten or moved on or moved past it, I just love so much focusing on the good things about her and what she’s brought into my life, her and her sister Stephanie. A huge piece of who I am today is because of having known those two incredible women. Another huge piece of who I am today is because of losing them and how I lost them. For someone who outwardly admits to having a terrible memory, I can remember so many details of finding out, of reading her last message to me before she got on the plane, of taking care of Greg, of crying, of putting together the slideshows for the funeral, of all of it.

One of the things that came from this plane crash was an intense reevaluation of who I am and who I want to be. There were things I wanted to change about my life and goals that I had that I never really realized I had. I realized that there were things about me that I really hated, things that made me honestly question why someone like Lindsey would want to be my best friend. I learned a lot about who I was and who I wanted to be, and it wasn’t really until Greg and I broke up that I had the freedom and the will to pursue this person. So I made this list as my terrible teacher was lecturing about the history of feminism, and I came up with a driving vision for myself.

Looking at it now, it’s interesting how many of these things I’ve accomplished or am currently accomplishing. It’s interesting to me, how many of these things I still value immensely but have forgotten to be actively pursuing, and it’s interesting how far I still have to go. There are so many things that I could add to this list, as my vision for the next seven years is becoming hypothetically more focused. But really what it comes down to is that I want to be a better person. Coming back has also shown me that this person I was working towards has not completely come to exist yet. As I said, I have more work to do. I have new challenges as well. I’ve become who I am currently, and probably sacrificed some of the good in me for other pieces of good, but I want them all. Maybe I’m being a little selfish, but on this note, I’m ok with that. I hope that the pursuit of becoming who I want to be never ends. But I also hope that I like myself throughout this pursuit…

I’m not really sure where my life is going to take me. I have been at my job for six months and I usually love it, for the time being. I know it’s not my forever, and there are a lot of things that I’d really like to do, and a lot of things that I’d really like to be. It’s hard to pace myself and let me grow into me in the way I want to without hurting others, and then figuring out that balance, and figuring out how to make myself better because of that… But maybe that’s what I meant when I titled this blog, Some Kind of Wonderful…. I am really happy with my life thus far and all the adventures that I have been enveloped in… and maybe that’s a little of what I meant when I named it that too… Maybe I don’t know yet… and I think that’s ok too.

Ramblings from the post-adventure adventure....

            So, let me begin by acknowledging how long it has been since I posted to this blog. I recognize that six months have gone by, and to be honest I’ve started writing a few posts, and never felt like they were things that should actually be finished. That’s the problem with writing. Sometimes something starts as a seed with so many wonderful possibilities, but as it grows it becomes something that the writer didn’t envision, or it doesn’t quite match the image in the writer’s mind. So much of this blog has been me passionately sharing my adventures and ideas about experiencing these adventures. Sometimes I find it hard to match my experiential definition of adventure with that of which I am currently living. Don’t get me wrong, this is an adventure.

I have spent much of the last six months immersed in what I would call domesticity. This is not a bad thing, or a bad word, or a disappointing thing. It simply is, and although I love my job for the time being, and my home, and being closer to family and friends, this is a very big change for me, as I assume you all thought it might be. Part of the reason I wanted to do this, get a “career” like job, or a “grown-up” job as I like to call it, was to see if this was an avenue I wanted to pursue in my life, for the long-term. I haven’t come to any conclusion yet, however, I do believe I’ve been able to narrow down the general skills I’d like to pursue having for a career, or series of employment experiences that I may choose to have throughout my life. Sounds somewhat ambiguous huh?



  Well, I spent this last weekend down at my dad’s property, and for the first time in a long time, I felt much more like myself than I remembered feeling for a while. I woke up eager to do some manual labor, nail stays on the fence that I was a part of building seemingly forever ago. Throughout the last three years, I’ve commonly had to drag myself out of bed to face this kind of task, but it finally felt normal again, and for that I am immensely grateful. Although I wouldn’t say I’ve experienced much of the things people say returned Peace Corps Volunteers experience when they return to this world (freaking out in grocery stores, snapping at loved ones because they don’t want to hear about your experience, frustrated at the consumerism of this country, annoyed at the pettiness of American’s problems – admittedly I’ve found that last one to be quite comical rather than frustrating). I feel as if I adjusted pretty well, picking up where I left off is what it seemed like.

 

  Yet also over the last six months, I’ve spent a good deal of time feeling pretty crappy about myself and things that I was doing. Case in point: the holidays were exhausting and drug on forever. I can say that I contributed to other people’s unhappiness during that time. And these are people I care about and hold very dear, but I said or did some things that aren’t like me at all, and were not thought through, and were ultimately very hurtful. I don’t need to rehash all of these things again, but I would like to apologize again for these things, because hurting people I love is never my intention nor is it something I want to be a part of who I am. So, I’ve been trying to get back to being a person that I like that I feel is a positive person for people to have in their lives, and although I ultimately feel that way about myself, I do know that I have some work to do.

The holidays were filled with family. My mom came down from Alaska, and my brother, K, and Gracie all came and spent five days with me. I loved having them and being back around family, although it did feel weird after Christmases in Africa. I got to see my cousin Jax and all of the extended Foster clan, which I always enjoy, and I got to see my dad in and out throughout the holiday season. New years was actually really good this year. It wasn’t the beach in Zanzibar, but it was filled with friends and family, and some really good food courtesy of my dad. As many of you know New Years is just simply my least favorite holiday and will probably always be so. I was pretty apprehensive this year to be spending it in Bend, with many of my girlfriends who I actually spent New Years so many years ago with. There were some wounds threatening to surface, but all in all it was a wonderful night. We were walking down the empty streets of downtown when the countdown happened, and it just felt like a good way to celebrate. No countdown, no wasted shenanigans, no big show, just a group of amazing ladies to hug in the middle of the streets at midnight. It was a great night, yet I still hate new years.

  So, anyways, I’ve thought a lot about content for this posting. I could talk about Zambia, which was amazing. I was kind of in a crabby mood for parts of it, because I was about to come home for the first time in two and a half years, but my friend Kate was a wonderful trooper. We traveled down to the Victoria Falls, which is amazing…. Absolutely beautiful! We did a walking safari where we got within 30 yards of a mother rhino and her baby, and we did a lovely booze cruise on the Zambezi river at sunset where I finally got to see my hippos! They’re so cool! Zambia was wonderful, and someday I might flashback and share more about it with you…

I got back to the states on June 30^th. My best friend Katie picked me up from the airport, and it felt like we picked up exactly where we’d left off. I was hosted by Ry and K on the fourth of July, but didn’t make it to the fireworks. The jet lag had full blown caught up with me at that point. Then there was a family rafting trip on my all time favorite river. Several years ago, I mean A LOT of years ago; I wrote a piece at a place called Fishtrap, a writer’s workshop in northeastern Oregon. This piece is entitled “I’m Home” and it is entirely about the Grand Ronde river and what it’s like to have a set of oars in my hands and floating down this river that has felt more like a home to me than many of the places I’ve lived in. Moving around my fair share as a youngster, I had my battle with trying to find my place, that sense of belonging that is seemingly supposed to accompany the nuclear family style dream of a home. It dawned on me one day, that my home was not where my house was, but rather it is there in the Grand Ronde valley.

I’ve come to discover as I’ve gotten older, up into my wise years of early adulthood, that I actually belong in many different places. I have many homes. There are many places that spark this feeling in my heart that I equate to feeling at home. A family friend once used the phrase, “citizen of the world” while talking to me, and this phrase has stuck with me consistently over time, and although I can’t speak to their definition, I’ve come to love defining that phrase for myself and experiencing the adventure that comes with my own personal definition of this. That being said, one of my homes, and probably my oldest home, will always be the Grand Ronde river, so what a place for me to return to when I am fresh off the plane, and really have the opportunity to be at home. It was Gracie and Kaleigh’s first rafting trips and I also took my friend Katie. I can’t honestly do justice with words explaining how great it felt to be there in my raft, oars in hand, reading my favorite river.

I spent a great deal of time immersed in the stress of job hunting, qualifying my skill set, my ideals, and my passions and figuring out if there was even a possibility of merging them into this shape that made sense to me and was actually possible. The first job to call me back is the job I now have, and I’m very happy doing this, direct service, working with teenagers, and helping people make better decisions for themselves. I’m very happy with it, for now. Unfortunately this tension and interviewing and job hunting, overshadowed a few pieces of my trip to Alaska, but it was still a wonderful trip just the same. I met my mom in Anchorage in the “slug mobile” as she calls her gynormous diesel pick-up truck and slide in camper. We road tripped around Alaska, went to Denali, and Wrangell-St. Elias and hung out in her spacious traveling home.

I never actually saw Denali, but in my mind I got to see something better. Don’t get me wrong, I love mountains, but I think and I hope that someday I will get to see Denali the mountain. We were on the bus back to our camp ground and we stopped to see a beautiful bear on the hillside across from us. My mom said she thought she saw something white further up and I saw this beautiful wolf slide into the brush. No one but my mom and I saw it, and I was feeling like one of those tourists cry wolf when looking at a coyote or something. The bear started walking up the hillside towards the brush, and he too disappeared into it. Shortly thereafter the wolf came running out with a caribou leg, and the bear was following close behind. The wolf dropped the leg and the bear plopped down on top of it, reclaiming his territory. It was so amazing to see them interacting with each other, and to see a wolf! How cool!

Years and years ago my brother and I learned what our totem animals were, me being the wolf and him being the bear. I think both of us have always been drawn to our individual animal representations over the years as well. That being said, I thought there was something familiar in the way the bear, we’ll call him Ryan, was chasing the wolf and stealing back the meat, then plopping down on top of it to keep the wolf from getting it. That’s not to say the bear (or Ryan) is selfish whatsoever, but it did seem like something we’d do to each other simply to remind the other that we’re not done playing our good-humored sibling rivalry game. It was an incredible sight and my mind was blown. Seeing a wolf…

            Oh and I got to see a lot of glaciers in Alaska, and I love glaciers. They’re so cool. Ok I’m beginning to get a little nerdy on here, but glaciers are amazing, living things. I know that sounds weird for those that have never been up close to a glacier but they breathe and move, and change and are just amazing. So I got to spend a lot of time with glaciers, and even hiked across one in Wrangell-St. Elias, with my mom. Glaciers are so cool! Anyways, I started work shortly after I returned from Alaska, and have been on this adventure ever since.

            I continue to learn about myself, constantly and incessantly, although this is what I hope for in my life. I want to constantly be growing and becoming a better version of who I am. I need this piece to fill some of the holes that I had and I’m glad that I have the opportunity to have this experience in a long line of experiences that I have had and will have. I’m not sure how to conclude an inadequate summary of the last six months of my life. It has been wonderful and it has been a struggle, and it has been filled with laughter and happiness. I assume that is much how most of my life will go, and I am absolutely ok with that, and feel immensely lucky because of that. And each of you are a part of that, so I cannot thank you enough. You’ve helped make my life something that I am very happy with… I only hope in some way I am doing the same for you…

And now….. pictures….

1. The Victoria Falls. 2. The bridge on the Zambian side and the mist from the falls. 3. Kate and I hiking down to the Zambezi river below the falls. 4. The falls yet again 5. The rhino mother and her baby. 6. Hippos swimming in the Zambezi above the falls 7. Sunset on the booze cruise. 8. My dad and Gracie sitting by the Grand Ronde, reminiscent of my childhood doing the same thing with my dad. 9. My raft (previously my mother’s raft) tied up at Malibu 10. My niece beating me up on the river! 11. Katie at the oars 12. Katie and I hanging out at Malibu 13.The Grand Ronde 14.The Wallowas in NE Oregon 15.-18. Denali National Park 19. Driving down to Valdez 20.-21. Glaciers are SO COOL! 22. Kennecott Mine in Wrangell-St. Elias National park, the biggest national park in the United States 23.-24. Wrangell-St. Elias National Park 25. Katie, Carina, Myself and Megan toasting to and celebrating Lindsey 26. Christmastime! 27. Mom, Gracie and I out on the beach 28.New Years: Gracie, Meagan, Me, Kelsey, Katie, Annette and Emily 29.-30. Megan and Katie and I celebrating Katie’s bon voyage to Ireland 31.-35. The property 36. Driving back through NE Oregon…

Enough pictures for you folks?